So in this next module we're going to talk about writing sentences in parallel
structure, so using parallelism, and I'll give you an example here to start.
Iuse this as an example from Strunk and White, again I'm gonna refer to them a lot
today. So here's an example of a sentence that's
unparallel, not parallel. Locusts denuded fields in Utah, rural Iowa
was washed away by torrents, and in Arizona the cotton was shriveled by the
placing heat. Notice that's unparallel because all those
items in the list are written, written in different forms.
Different structures so we get locusts denuded.
That's in a subject verb. And then we get rural Iowa was washed away
by torrents. That's in the passive voice.
And then in Arizona which is a preposition.
So you can see that we end up these all don't match so we want.
When we're doing a list like this we want those things to match.
So to make this match you wanna make, put them properly all in subject verb form.
So you could write in parallel form. Locusts denuded fields in Utah, torrents
washed away rural Iowa, and blazing heat shriveled Arizona's cotton.
So we get subject, verb, locusts denuded, subject, verb.
Torrents washed away and subject, verb. Blazing heat shriveled so, that's now in
parallel form. Here's an example of, you know, basically
when you, when you want to write in parallel form you have to make a choice of
what the structure of those items and lists are gonna be, and you gotta make a
choice and stick to it. So here's a, an example of a sentence
that's nicely in parallel structure. I pulled this from a recent article I was
reading on the Mars rover Curiosity. So it says NASA's intrepid Mars rover
Curiosity has been through a lot in the past year.
It flew 354 million miles, blasted through the Mars atmosphere, deployed a super
sonic parachute, unfurled the giant sky crane and touched down gently on the
surface of Mars. So, notice that in the second sentence it
is got a list of things, but they all parallel.
They all follow the same structure. We got subject verb, subject verb, subject
verb. It flew, blasted, it deployed, it
unfurled, it touched down gently. And I also want to, I like this example, I
want to point out to you the really nice verbs that are in this sentence.
Like fluid, blasted. It deployed, it unfurled, it touched down
gently. So those are really nice verbs, nicely
done parallel form. So peers of ideas lists of things and
peers of ideas that are joined by and or, or but need to be written in parallel
form. So here's an example the velocity
decreased by 50 percent but the pressure decreased by only ten%.
So we've got subject verb subject verb so those have to be written in the same form
subject verb but subject verb like structure like that and If you want to
read more about this I'll refer you especially those of you in the bio medical
sciences to a really good book on scientific writing by [unknown] called the
importance of writing bio medical papers. She gives some examples like this peers of
ideas joined by and but that need to be in parallel form.
And this is a really nice reference, if you have time to do some extra reading
it's quite a bit longer than Strunk and White but has some really good
information. And I'll be referring to some material
from her book throughout this course. Here's another example of pairs of ideas
joined by and or but needing to be in parallel form.
So you would say, we aim to increase the resolution and to improve picture quality.
So notice we've got a and here connecting those two ideas and they're both an
infinitive phrase. So we've got an infinitive phrase and
infinite phrase so you have to be careful when you've got pairs of ideas like that
to make sure those are in parallel form. And, of course when you're writing lists
you want to make sure that those lists of ideas, or numbered lists of ideas even,
should be written, that those need to be in parallel form as well.
And I'll just remind you here as we talked about in the last module, or two modules
ago. That if you're writing a list of examples
or a list of ideas, and you're not exactly sure how many items to include in that
list, default to the rule of three's. You'll see that there's a lot of these
examples I'm going to show you have indeed, three items.
So here's an example of something that's a list of items that's not in parallel form.
If you want to be a good doctor you must study hard, critically think about the
medical literature and you should be a good listener.
You can hear that sounds funny when you read it out loud.
You must critically think, you should. Alright we need to make these in parallel
form, you could say you must study hard, critically think and be a good listener or
something like that but they all need to match.
So we could change this to make it parallel to if you want to be a good
doctor, you must study hard listen well and think critically about the medical
literature. I inverted the order a little just so that
since the think critically came with medical literature we agreed a little more
at the end. In this case we have got imperative,
imperative, imperative, you must study hard, you must listen well, and you must
think critically. So those are a parallel.
The other way to restructure this one so that it's parallel would be to turn all of
those items in the list to nouns. I don't think this is quite as good.
But you could say, and this would be parallel.
If you wanna be a good doctor, you must be a good student, a good listener, and a
critical thinker about the medical literature.
So that would work too, because they'd all big nouns.
Of course, I always prefer verbs. Here's another example, of something's
that not parallel in a list of items. Now this is a list of items that's
numbered but even when you've got numbered items those have to be parallel as well.
So it says this research follows four distinct phases.
One, establishing measurement instruments. Two, pattern measurement.
Three, developing interventions. And four, dissemination of successful
interventions. So notice we've got.
Two that match and two others that match. We've got an establishing and a
developing, those match, and a measurement and a desimination.
Those match. So we want to make them all match.
So probably the way to do that would be to turn them all into gerunds.
That is ing words. So you would say this research follows
four distinct phases. One establishing measurement instruments
to measuring patterns to developing interventions and four disseminating
successful interventions. So pay attention to this especially when
you're writing lists. This is something students often get
wrong, you get kind of buried in the list and you lose, you lose your place.
So you have to be really careful and go back and make sure everything is parallel.
So we're going to do a little practice example, if you have time right now and
you wanna pause the video after I read through this example and see if you can
get this parallel on your own go ahead. Otherwise you can just follow along with
me and I'll show you how to make this into a parallel sentence.
So he says, base describes the ten principles for the success of decision
support systems in critical settings which include speed, real time delivery,
integration into work flow, simplicity and to avoid data entry.
Okay, so you can hear that, that sounds wrong.
We've got an infinitive phrase at the end where the rest of those were nouns.
Speed, delivery, integration and simplicity.
So we're going to need to make that parallel.
It's not hard to do. So, to make this one parallel, all I had
to change was rather than, and to avoid data entry, was to change it to a noun and
the avoidance of data entry. Okay, one more example to practice.
And again, if you want to pause the video now and read this on your own and try to
make it parallel on your own, your welcome to do so.
Otherwise, you can just follow along and it says waste stabilization ponds have
been studied under many different climatic conditions on all six inhabited
continents. The main findings have concluded that
ponds one have higher removal efficiencies in warm, sunny climates, two should be
situated far enough from human populations to prevent unnecessary human health risks
and nuisance conditions and three located in areas of high winds may require baffles
or windbreaks to ensure optimal performance.
So if you were listening along there, if you were reading this one out loud, you
can, you catch it right at the end, that, that third item doesn't match the other
two, something is out of sync. So we get, half higher, should be situated
and located. So you can see the problem happened here I
think because the author said that well in the item two I put a should be, and she's
wanting that should be to carry over, not just to the situated, but also to the
located in number three. But of course it doesn't, you need to
repeat the should be or something like that.
So, we're gonna turn this into parallel form.
And, we can do that simply by just moving around the, in number three.
Take that may require, which is the verb. We need a verb there.
And move it up, so we can have higher removal efficiencies in warm sunny
climates. Should be situated far enough from people
and populations. And may require baffles or windbreaks to
ensure optimal performance in areas with high winds.
So now, we got, verb, verb, verb, so those match.
Just for a little extra practice there's some extra words in this sentence that we
can get rid of. So I went ahead and did a little bit more
editing of this sentence now that it's in parallel form to take out a few extra
words. And actually it's, it's two sentences and
I'm gonna combine those two sentences into one sort of as I've been doing in this
module in the earlier modules this week. So if you'll notice that there is some
repetition here. There is some things that you can, can
kind of fix with some editing. So for example you get weight
stabilization pause in the first sentence and then you get the.
The word pawns again in the, in the second sentence setting up that colon and in
fact, if you just put waste stabilization pawns right there, that would be away to
get rid of that first sentence. You can, when you read the second sentence
the set up for the colon is not great, right.
The main findings have concluded. Well, it's a little funny right because
findings really can't make conclusions. It'll be, probably be better if you just
kinda combine that first sentence with the setup for the colon all in one.
And basically say, you know, there's been studies on all six continents that have
concluded the following about waste stabilization plan.
Alright. So you can take a look at my edits now.
So, what you can see is I did a few things.
I brought those two sentences together. In order to do so, I wanted to talk about
the studies concluding. And I, to do that, I got rid of few extra
things, like the author had referred to the different climate conditions across
the six, six different continents. I thought since we were referring to the
six continents it was kind of obvious that we were going to have different climate
conditions, and than especially because in the list we are talking about different
climates, varying climates, it seems kind of a unnecessary to talk about the
different climate conditions in the, in the set up for the colon.
So I thought it was sufficient to just say studies conducted across six continents
have concluded that waste stabilization ponds.
So now I'm. Not having to repeat ponds, I'm just
saying specifically that it's least stabilization ponds.
And then how high are removal efficiencies.
I made a few edits in that second item to make it a little bit smaller.
Should be situated far enough from human populations to prevent health risks and
nuisance. And may require baffles or windbreaks to
insure optimal performance. And I condense this a little bit by saying
rather than saying. An area with high winds, I changed it into
in stormy areas. And, I want to point out one little thing
here cuz I wanna get back to a discussion about repetition at the end of this third
week. And so I just want to point out one thing
I did here in the edit so when I was reading this along I wanted to cut some
words and I also noticed that she had said may requires baffles or wind breaks so she
had used the word wind. And then I edited it, in areas with high
winds, I edited that to, first to, in windy areas.
But then it seemed a little bit, repetitive cuz I got wind breaks, and then
I've got windy areas. And so I felt this obligation to change it
to something else. So I went to my thesaurus.
And said, well, what's another word that means kinda high windy?
So I came up with stormy. I'm pointing that out here because, in
fact. There's an argument to be made that I
really could of just kept the word windy in there, windy areas or even you know any
areas with high winds, and not worried about the fact that wind got repeated.
This is something I'm gonna talk about in a future module this week so I'll just
point that out there. Perhaps the word stormy actually does a
disservice to the author here because really maybe stormy has a slightly
different meaning than windy and what she actually wanted to say was specifically
about wind. So why don't you just kinda pay attention
cuz you're gonna find yourself doing this a lot when you've see that you've already
used a word. There's this temptation to want go to the
thesaurus and say, oh, I can't repeat a word.
Sometimes, as I'm gonna talk about in a future module this week.
Sometimes, it's better to actually stick with that word and to repeat it.
So, we're gonna, I'm just gonna place that in you're head.
For the future module that's coming up. >> The preceding program is copyrighteed
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Please visit us at med.stanford.edu.